” How many children do you have ? » The question seems simple, but for Carryanne Pépin, the answer is complex.

“Sometimes I say, ‘I have five at home.’ When I want to avoid questions. […] This is the mental compromise I made to myself. »

If her older daughter is by her side at the time, however, she will be quick to correct the situation. In their family, there are not five children, there are six.

In March 2023, Carryanne Pépin experienced what every pregnant woman fears. At 28 weeks pregnant, she stopped feeling her baby move. “I went to the maternity ward and was told of the death. »

Her husband was not with her. He had stayed at home to look after the sleeping children. When he heard the news, he was convinced he had just had a nightmare.

During the night, the parents talked. Were they going to order an autopsy? Did they want their child cremated? Would the urn be buried? Questions they never thought they would have to ask themselves.

Billie was born the next day. Carryanne Pépin was able to hold him for a moment. A moment too brief, when she thinks about it.

She had “the lucidity and calm” to ask questions, but once the birth was over, she would have liked to have been better supported.

“There wasn’t a social worker who came to see me. There is nobody. […] If I had been completely in crisis, it might have been different… but it’s not true that things were going well,” she laments.

“The CLSC called me a month later to tell me that they had received a letter saying that I was experiencing perinatal loss and that they were offering workshops. One month later, it’s too little,” believes the woman who would like all mothers experiencing perinatal bereavement to be able to obtain support immediately.

The weeks that followed were very difficult for Carryanne Pépin. “I was so afraid of meeting people and being asked questions [about the baby]. It’s hard for people to hear that. It’s confronting. […] They don’t know what to answer and they fall into awkwardness. »

“Nothing happens for nothing” or “at least you have other healthy children” are two examples of sentences that Carryanne Pépin received like a stab in the heart. Grieving is not easier because you have other children. It’s their grief too, not just that of their parents, notes the mother.

Like many people, she turned to the private sector to receive the psychological support she needed. Her doctor, “who is incredible,” also supported her. However, she believes that hospitals should do more. “There’s a big, big, big gap. If I had more time, this would be my life mission. Currently, it is not done well. »

Pregnant with her seventh child, Carryanne Pépin benefits from closer monitoring in another hospital, where she feels better supported.

“I’m very scared, but very excited to see how I’m going to experience this postpartum,” concludes the mother.