In 17 regions the prevalence of coronavirus permit the removal of the restrictions announced recently by Deputy Prime Minister Tatiana Golikova. I’ve cancelled the pass, in other regions were allowed to visit the city’s baths. However, on-line.
anyway, the output of the isolation is approaching inexorably. Some are afraid of the rapidity of this approach, and someone, in contrast, believes that “sat up”. About what awaits post-pandemic coronavirus and how to get back to normal life without loss we’re talking with known family analyst, psychologist Catherine Ivanovoy.
– Catherine, not far off the time when people come out of isolation. Will, of course, in a different state, but certainly those who have been home for two months, there will be common features. What we have to prepare that know better (especially about themselves) in advance?
it is obvious that irreversible changes have taken place, and some things will never return and we will never be the same again. And out of isolation as we entered it, that is based on our own experience. And he, of course, are different. And to return without loss to normal, ordinary life, very important to take the time to go back to her. In childhood we all have had the experience of conditional exclusion. For example, long lying in the hospital. Remember how I wrote once in the spring (I’m asthmatic — was in the hospital for three months). You were discharged, you go out, parents take you to the car or to the bus, and you look all around… you like as well, but you’re at a complete loss.
Because it’s different. You come home: the parents something tasty cooked — you’ve been waiting for. And you’re lost. You come to school, but everything changed. And then you notice that it is not necessary to hurry: birthif chores do not load, teachers do not ask (excused from p. E. I!), in the school of music at choir practice singing does not cause… Therefore, my personal experience says that it is very important to slow down, no need to rush “to come to the Board”.
– You say that the correct way out gradually. But someone today or tomorrow, will say: “go to work”. On the one hand it’s fortunate that you have a job (many have lost it), but if a person is honest all the time spent in complete isolation, no one spoke, the food he brought contactless couriers, and here the order: “get Out!” This is what fear.
– About that speech. Can another Association to lead when returning to the yard from summer camp, and everything changed. Or when you come into the sea, the water seems very cold and stand up and begin to get used to it. And then you can in this water two hours to sit. “Dive now with his head” is not necessary. It is clear that you have to go to work, but you still will not say tomorrow to go to work, and the day after. So tomorrow you can go outside and look around. It is very important to give yourself to get used to the fresh air, the traffic. It is very important not to fuss. If you usually go to work quickly (and we are in Moscow know what temp in our city – all fast, all very energetically), you have to give yourself the opportunity to enter into this flow, this pace. Otherwise, this “slice and dice” you will grind. It is necessary to take into account your life experience, remember — and as it once had. Gonna have to look around, get used to it, give yourself the opportunity not to hurry. But if in a hurry, consciously
it is obvious that this is a very important exercise. During the period of isolation we all have to walk. In this sense, I was lucky, I’m out of town from March 15, and walked my 10K steps, so I go. But a lot of my friends at best had the ability to “search” the trash in the yard.
– I went for groceries in the store is 10 thousand steps is extremely difficult to “find”.
– Almost impossible. And I must say, to “find” 10 thousand, the desired resource, and many of this resource are lost. I ate the ice cream so much isolation, how much for all my 46 years not eaten. Ate only the ice cream and watered it with cranberries pureed with sugar “as a child” because I was so important to comfort themselves — support (I, of course, already knew then). Now the case goes to the removal of restrictions, and what do you think? I eat ice cream? No! I gradually come back to your favorite salads “from the green”. And to walk I became more than 10 thousand — forces appeared. Therefore, it is important to return to exercise as much, to solve problems with a return to former (doverennym) habits must start from what do you have for this resource.
What’s more, it is very important to understand the isolation most of us were in families. Let this two people, but we were in the family space — very close to each other. And many have developed a habit to be together. All these months psychologists working on how to separate people at different angles, to teach them how to negotiate.
And now, when people leave to their former jobs or go to look for work, they are naturally very distant. It’s like the spring first squeezed, and then let go. Disengage the husband and wife, children, and parents. And has to be dealt with consciously. Not to see the tragedy of “the separation”, but rather to give the opportunity to recuperate in the distance. I am very worried about Egor (the son became a volunteer in the red zone in the hospital) and for what he does, but I’m glad he’s started to really miss us. I understAyu that three weeks he simply came from our “farm”. And it is also very important.
And one more thing, from my point of view, requires attention. We must understand that we lift the restrictions does not mean that the virus is gone. It is, and a danger exists. To take care of yourself is necessary, and need to watch myself. Recently the social network spread the video, as the woman does not admit to the entrance and someone shouts: “You are without a mask. Depart from me!” I was a witness in the pharmacy coughed the young man and the girl next to him was hysterical. She screamed: “get away, you got me infected! You need to get to a hospital!” You have to understand that people have increased fear of being infected. It’s an invisible threat — like radiation: you don’t know at what point you’re at. And then you discover that ill. Any fear at the bottom is always a lot of aggression. And you should be able to participate in this aggression, be able to defend themselves. But not throwing fists, and to distance themselves, not multiplying is evil. Especially now in the white light will be released very many people with panic attacks.
– I just wanted to ask you, what if you realize that you have had a panic attack. Or Vice versa, you become a witness to it.
– in my practice there were such cases, when the wife had Kovalam, husband and children were in contact. The husband receives a positive test. He has no symptoms, but on the background of expectations that’s going to be terrible (and there is a fear caught up that suddenly all suffocate and die right there), he developed panic attacks. When having a panic attack, people need people. So that you can touch with your hand. I have a client with panic attack on the escalator, and we agreed that she is not shy and asks for permission from standing close, to touch him. Of course this sounds strange, nevertheless during pricescoy attack important contact. Even with his eyes. As psychologists working with panic attacks? They tell the customer: “Here’s your homework: carry a notebook with pencil. Feeling starts, take a Notepad and start to write down: “What now happens to me? What I feel now? Feel. Feel this.” All necessary “обналичить2, to legalize. I’m not prone to panic attacks, but asthma, for me it is very scary to choke. Asthmatics (it’s psychosomatic) know well enough to find that you forgot the inhaler, and you will begin the attack. One day I was stuck in traffic and found that I have no medication. I immediately began the attack: the Windows closed, a closed space. But since I am a psychologist, I act consciously: I feel bad, so I need to vent, to people. What kind of people? I’m on varshavke. Stopped the car, turned on the hazard lights, got out of the car. I just stood there, and someone stopped and asked if help is needed. Once asked, I immediately let go, and I was able to drive to the pharmacy and buy medicine, even though it was no longer needed.
I tell you, to make it clear: it is very important to establish contact with someone. If you are at home and you have a panic attack, call, write in facebook: “I’m having a panic attack”. And you are always in the comments write: “Buddy, hold on! We are always with you.” And, of course, everyone has to go to a good psychologist. Good psychologists have a lot of them.
– you Can go to a psychologist and a good psychiatrist. But now many have lost their jobs. That is, money on the psychologist of the people there. Rather, they will not spend on psychologist saved for a rainy day — do so. What to do?
In all of April (when all was tight) I significantly reduced the price. Many of my colleagues also did (although someone else is very healthyon earned). When I ask for help, I said, “I Have such conditions, such cost”. The man replies, “Thank you,” and I understand the tone that he is not suitable. Then I suggest: “Look, I understand that 3 thousands of hours online – it’s many expensive. Want me to give you the contacts of my colleagues that I trust. For example, someone doing a thesis, and he hour costs 1.5 thousand, and someone takes even less. But it’s the people I know.” Many of my clients such a practice. They can always ask me if something they have doesn’t work out, and I gift will support their colleagues. And there are different crisis centres, it is possible to apply there.
– That is, if you ask for to find help you?
of Course, if you ask for… just yesterday I wrote to a colleague: “Kate, give my contact to doctors, Egor. I want to spend the free 5 advice.” And such can be found, it would wish. It is important to look for checked contacts.
– Understood. Isolation will end and for those who are ill and for healthy. As you suggest, there is a difference in the behavior of these people? You should focus on the disease or all people are different and each will go his own way?
of Course everyone is different, and all are in their own way. Someone mother in childhood muzzle on my knee and said, dog pain, cat pain, and of Petenka sazivi, and another mother said: quit whining, got up and went, not collapse. But even these people will come out different based on what each of them occurred during isolation. I see a friend in danger. In our society there are all sorts of jokes-pribautochki: Oh, you’re ill, you’re contagious. Today, literally I client wrote, they had a family, and working over them, make fun of chat.
the sick children or HIV-positive may to laugh.
Yes, we do all we can, we have can write to me about the fact that I’m not a mother, and echidna. First son to the army passed, now covid-case. What I’m looking for a way to get rid of the baby.
So if we’re talking about the reaction of the society, it is very important to adhere to basic values. Although, to be honest , somewhere deep down, I envy those who have had it and survived, because I understand that this plague anyway, all should recover.
– So maybe we ill in the hidden form.
– Maybe. We are very seriously ill in January. So come all different ways. Don’t know what will be different output ill person from the healthy. This situation has not been studied. And how the virus affects the psyche.
– But obviously affected.
– In fact, any serious illness (and you know this better than I) a very cool brain back into place. My close friend Oksana Pushkina was discharged from the mill after covidа. I’m with her every day in contact, I hear her voice, and I know how bad she was. Her childhood sports annealing (Oksana daddy coach), she behaved in the sense of self-discipline, they own 15 miles each day running around the track, so it is bright and cheerful. But, clearly, she’s overwhelmed emotionally. Because she was sure that her “this” will not happen. Now “this” happened to her, she saw the situation from the inside, and shook it well. And people who know that we are friends, I wrote: “Pushkin really hurts or it is now fashionable”? It’s a new trend had covidом – you’re cool.
– once the isolation ends, the streets will meet covid dissidents and those who lived by the rules. Is it possible to predict the occurrence of aggressive environment?
– It already is, we talked about it above. The only advice: do not turn on . I went this school in the 14th year on facebook, when I realized that saying something about the Crimea and Ukraine is completely useless, and I did not participate in the discussion of this topic. The same thing is now when I hear or read that covid — a conspiracy that the virus is that Putin is to blame… And that, I will go myself to tear his shirt and say: my son with his own eyes sees everything with their own hands the corpses out of the building? But what sense? I scroll through these posts, and put a tick — that kind of person. Again, the best way to support aggression – not to join it.
– You all are right, but what if my character is such that I do first, and then think: Oh, it was good not to be included.
– it is easier If you do. We all have our quirks. And you don’t think I’m so smart right now?
– I can even be theoretically smart, but almost not.
Practically I have “visor is falling” when someone says something about my kids. In this place everything. The end.
Is painfully reminds me of me…
– …But one day I learned that the peak of the emotions ends in 12 minutes. And because I am a victim of my image, I still realize that I must meet. And when someone wrote to me that he was disappointed after learning that my Orthodox son smokes, I’ve got 12 minutes. All this time I was angry, gritted his teeth, washing the dishes… And after 12 minutes I did not want anything this man to answer. And, as it was to me quite cheap, I silently, without any explanation, it was banned. Because no one has the right to say anything about my kids. And when I came to, I wrote a separate post, h”if anybody ever lays a finger on”… On the classics.
– Then, perhaps, one last question. Now a huge number of people have already lost their jobs and more will lose. And finding a place will be difficult. What would you advise and recommend as a psychologist?
– I don’t like psychologist will tell you. I’m a mother, I’m the wife and I for many years. So, when one door closes, another always opens. You know, I’ve been through with the loss of my husband. We were starving — just hungry. But we’ve seen it all, because, first, we were always together, supporting each other, and, secondly, we always knew that the Lord will not leave us.
This is a test through which we must pass, and it’s even somewhat interesting, and can open a completely unexpected side to yourself, and find new ways of making money. The main thing — not to lose the opportunities that are in front of you. When you take this interview, earn. And when I talk to you, earn. Of course, first and foremost I’m doing this for people, but I’m promoting my name. This is an opportunity. I could say: Oh, no, I better advice. But the time is.
additionally, we genetically incorporated: we live better when we survive. In Russia very bad at living in the moment, enjoy life, be happy. We survive. In the Great Patriotic war are still all sitting. Therefore, it seems to me that so many cope with this situation.
And if someone feels unable to cope, do not be afraid to ask for help.
